Ask Amy: Grandma sent me a bill for my daughter’s visit

DEAR AMY: When my daughter went to visit my mother, I sent a check for $300 to cover expenses during her visit. Upon my daughter’s return, my mother sent me an invoice for $475.50 for additional expenses, including the cost of gas to and from the airport (45 minutes away), train tickets to go to the city to a museum and the cost of the museum admission. It was an itemized bill. This is hurtful, as this past winter my mother came to live with us for four months and we paid for everything, including a nice vacation to an island over Christmas. (Neither of my siblings has a relationship with my mother because she is petty and doesn’t respect boundaries — like a $300 budget). How do I address her? I am hurt and angry by her decision to charge me for gas to pick up her granddaughter from the airport, as well as the other expenses. My mother is a single woman (a retired college professor), and we have never asked her to pay for anything. We even write her a check for groceries when she hosts Thanksgiving dinner.Now I feel she has taken advantage of my generosity and I don’t trust her to spend time with my daughter because it is just too costly for me (financially and emotionally).




Well, personally, everyone should know their friends/relations well.  I am sure this grandma has a past record and this is probably not the first.  Actions speak louder than words, I would send her the money and let her know what I feel and never repeat the act of sending my child there.  It’s not by force.

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